C 

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via relahvant)

bombhills-notcountries:

I don’t know why this made me laugh so hard hahahah
awesomeasusual inquires: UNDERCOVER AT A GAY BAR!

tsarodat:

smokeandjollyranchers:

I WOULD TOTALLY MAKE SOUL GO UNDERCOVER.

Okay they’re trying to find a Kishin that thinks it’s funny to play Jeffery dahmer, and so they send Soul into the club to scope things out. Maka is already undercover as the bartender, so Soul isn’t without his meister

AND. IT. IS. SO. AWKWARD. FOR. HIM.

GUYS ARE HITTING ON HIM AND CALLING HIM PRETTY AND ASKING TO TRY OUT HIS TEETH OR IF HE WANTS TO GET OUT OF HERE

and soul can’t stop blushing and Maka is dying just a little bit watching her oh-so-cool-parter-with-legendary-sex-appeal totally flounder under all this attention.

And soul finally breaks away to come order a drink, and yup. Soul found the guy, and he’s also ready to leave. CUZ let’s be real soul has a hard time accepting affection on a good day. Now getting swarmed by a crowd, getting hit on by men, that’s a little too out of his comfort zone.

Like now Maka.

Right fucking now Maka.

Maka no.

What do you mean you still have an hour on your shift.

Maka why?

Maka. Maka help. Maka. Makaaaaa. Help no. please. let ‘s leave. you can leave early. THIS ISN’T YOUR REAL JOB MAKA. YOUR REAL JOB TO TO PROTECT ME. I MEAN FOR ME TO PROTECT YOU. MAKA SAVE ME. THEY WANT THINGS MAKA. THEY WANT TO DO THINGS TO ME. HELP MAKAAAAA. PLEASE SAVE ME

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Billy Joel
Why Should I Worry (289,219)
abominablemothman:

paandi:

weaslee:
506

howunpleasant:

when i was little i actually questioned why girls were supposed to cross their legs and when i was told “because boys will look up your skirt” i said “then tell boys not to look up our skirts” and my grandma got really angry with me but my uncle thought i was great and gave me a high five

(Source: howunpleasant-moved, via orgasm)